How EMDR Promotes Reflective Functioning
Reflective Functioning (RF) requires the capacity to mentalize—to think about our own and others' internal thoughts and feelings with curiosity, humility, and honesty, letting go of judgments or fears that get in our way. In a mentalizing state of mind, we can let go of preconceived notions about others. We're able to reflect upon the factors contributing to our own and others' words and actions, consider the impact we have on others and their impact on us, examine our own missteps, change course, and make repairs. Through these reflective processes, we become able to engage in meaningful relationships. Not surprisingly, research indicates that parents with high RF can provide secure attachment to their kids through attuned and sensitive caregiving.
I've witnessed EMDR clients with very little reflective capacity at the start of therapy move toward a much more reflective stance in life. While our brain is designed to process the events of our lives naturally, storing information we might need and discarding what we don't need, our processing system shuts down in the face of trauma. Our inadequately processed feelings and perceptions stay frozen in time. The stuck feelings and beliefs can skew our perceptions of ourselves and others forever after, leaving us in a non-mentalizing state. We become incapable of looking at things any other way.
EMDR therapy jump-starts our natural processing system. If you're an EMDR therapist, you've been amazed, as I have, when a client who was previously stuck makes sudden, profound shifts at the onset of bilateral stimulation. Clients who were previously certain of their negative assumptions will suddenly step into a mentalizing state with a rush of new thoughts, insights, and connections. It's rewarding to witness old judgments fall away and be replaced with acceptance and compassion. EMDR processing of relevant traumatic events, present triggers, and future templates over time improves clients' capacity to reflect within their daily lives, promoting healthier relationships with others and a healthier relationship with themselves.
