Adoption is Not the Problem.

Adoption is not the problem. Adoption is a win-win for adoptive parents, children, and birth parents. Adoption is not a problem, but early attachment losses and traumas are indeed a problem. Even preverbal trauma leaves an imprint in the limbic brain of young children and creates entrenched feelings of rejection, abandonment, hurt, mistrust, fear, and worthlessness. Children wired for rejection will misunderstand normal parenting discipline as attempts to hurt and reject them. Vulnerable feelings are quickly turned into anger as a method of self-protection. Mystified parents become angry in return, which triggers children to feel their pain even more intensely. There is a way out of this, but it’s not easy. Therapists and parents must work together as a team to assist children in experiencing feelings of love, trust, and closeness on a deep level.